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Pardon??
Patience is a Virtue!
What he said...
"And further more, (blah blah blah) and in addition
to (blah blah blah)....then there is the topic of (blah blah blah)."
What
I thought ...
When is he going to get to the POINT? What is he
SAYING? Now he is on a totally different topic! What happened to the original
conversation? He isn't interested in the topic I introduced and he is ignoring my
message! The French are so RUDE!!!
The
lesson...
In America we tend to be severely direct, to the point and
efficient. Words are used to say something specific where each topic is addressed,
discussed and resolved before moving on to the next one. In France, however, discussion is
not so binary! The goal may not be to "make a point". |
The goal may be simply to discuss, interact
and share. Where as I am accustomed to more of a sparring match in a conversation, he is
more accustomed to a dance where topics flow from one to the next and making a
"point" is not the reason for speaking. Again, this may be a difference between
he and I alone, but through interviews with other couples, it appears to be a common
thread.
How
we worked it out...
A compromise was made. When I feel as if my point has not
been validated I tend to "wait" for it, not able to follow the next thread of
discussion. To avoid this, I have learned to lighten up and "go with the flow" a
bit more and not be so concerned with a specific topic. In addition, he makes an effort to
be more direct. We have learned to "spar" and "dance" together.
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