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From: Colleen Bonnett
Category: Category 1
Date: 11/9/97
Time: 1:09:27 PM
Remote Name: 24.0.146.30
I am very happy for both of you. Isn't it amazing that you've actually found eachother??? I'm married to a Brit :-) and we live in my home town, San Diego. We've been married for over 2 years. We haven't been able to afford a dual trip to London yet. He's been back only twice. I just wanted to warn about your Christope possibly getting home sick. It's very sad to see. James misses his friends and family often. I can't help to feel a bit guilty in keeping him all to myself. We're saving for our first trip together this coming March. Fingers crossed... Your pictures of France are great. I can't wait to travel!
From: Michael Hausenfluck
Category: Category 1
Date: 8/14/98
Time: 1:28:07 PM
Remote Name: 208.254.11.185
My French wife and I have been married for nearly 5 1/2 years. It's been a wonderful and culturally enlightening relationship for both of us. She comes from a small village in Southwest France...quite close to Auvillar, actually. We recently had a baby boy. We're both quite sure that his life will be culturally rich. My advice to people contemplating a cross-cultural relationship is to be patient and to endeavor to learn and appreciate as much about your partner's culture as possible. My French has improved dramatically and I've learned to enjoy things that I never would have had I married someone from my own culture. I also have a question: Are there any US citizens who have married people from other countries that have lived for a reasonably long time in your spouse's country of origin? What was it like?
From: Kate (and my sweetie Laurent)
Category: Category 1
Date: 3/7/98
Time: 12:30:50 AM
Remote Name: 209.24.164.38
This is a great idea Shannon!
Laurent and I have been seeing eachother virtually nonstop since the day we met. (1 1/2 ago) Falling in love was the easy part; he was kind, gentle and passionate and I was thouroughly impressed! However, as our lives became entwined, we repeatedly came across social obstacles that led us to heated discussions..that eventually boiled over into arguments. As a result, we have spent the greater part of this past year ironing out the bumps and mending the intercultural snags and bruises. ***A sample scenario that is altered slightly each time, yet countlessly repeated by various friends/guests:***
His best friend, visiting from Paris w/ his fiancee, we're stopped at Carls Jr. *oh joy* after a LONG drive----he looks at my coffee---which I openly admit is on the weak side--- and smugly states: "In France, we say Americans drink a photo of coffee beans that they've dipped in water!" (Ouch!) OR: "American coffee tastes like sawdust." "American roads are terrible." "French soap is better." Etc....
The Silliness is Endless. Besides, I make good, strong coffee, the roads are $FREE$ here, and it depends what soap you buy---in the US or France!
I still find it frustrating, especially when I'm a nervous hostess, hoping, cleaning and cooking for the happiness of my guests. I just don't want to get jaded, because I know Laurent's friends are important. Bit by bit, we are working it out. I have begun saying with a sweet smile: "Wow, that sounds harsh, what do you mean?" or "Really? I think that depends on the situation." (smile, nod, swallow...) Usually they don't mean it as an insult, only as an observation. But it just sounds so rude, especially to our pampered, customer-service-soft American ears. We have come to expect something different. Our friend Damien calls it "hypocracy" (fake) <HOW RUDE!!!> : ( ...but we've decided that something is lost in the translation. : ). Besides, these Demi-Voltaires are usually up for a good social debate, so I try and give them a run for their money. Laurent seems to be taking it in stride (he's so sweet!).
A bientot, ~Kate.