[ Home | Contents | Search | Post | Reply | Next | Previous | Up ]
From:
Category: Category 1
Date: 11/4/97
Time: 3:28:03 PM
Remote Name: 206.121.4.38
From: Carolyn
Category: Category 1
Date: 2/3/98
Time: 12:08:57 PM
Remote Name: 193.188.72.52
I am a daughter of a cross cultural marriage (American/Japanese). I am also in a ten year cross cultural marriage (American/Middle Eastern). I moved to the Middle East last year. I quit my job, left my close-knit family and friends behind. It's not an easy thing to do. Certainly, there have been many "horror" stories of marriage to middle eastern men. Many are valid stories but there are some very happy marriages as well. I am very happily married.
I believe that any cross cultural marriage has many things going against it. I don't care if you are marrying a brit, french, arab or chinese. When you are in love, it's easy to "romanticize" and believe you can overcome any differences. To have a successful cross-cultural marriage you must (as well as your spouse) be able to compromise. You or him (wherever you live) will always be an "outsider." You can learn about the other culture and the lessons will have some affect on your way of thinking. You will understand and perhaps not judge so harshly. However, you will always "think" differently about certain things and have a hard time understanding where the other person is coming from. Even marrying another American you run into this because of different "family" cultures. However, marrying outside of your culture, it is magnified.
The one area I would strongly advise in waiting for a period time is--children. I have seen so many cases where children become victims of cross cultural marriages. Again, it doesn't matter if the other spouse is from the Middle East, France or Africa. If it ends and the other wants to go home, where do the children end up. Make sure you are confident that the marriage is strong and the chance for divorce is less than 1%.
Would I do it again? You betcha!!!!! I'm sure most of my friends and family gave us two years at the most. It's not easy but I wouldn't trade my husband for anything. We have a young son that is American/Arab/Japanese and I like to think that he took the best from all his "blood."
I wish you the best of luck. The most important ingredient for success in any marriage is love. Second, committment. Third, patience. Fourth, a sense of humour. Fifth, integrity.
Lots of love and best wishes in your future life together.
From: Shannon
Category: Category 1
Date: 5/26/98
Time: 11:12:52 PM
Remote Name: 192.100.81.108
Latin America? Ooh la la!! No, I haven't read the material you've mentioned, but will certainly look for it! Thanks for the tip!
From:
Category: Category 1
Date: 4/22/98
Time: 9:00:40 PM
Remote Name: 143.43.143.22
: Hi guys. Best wishes . . .Great site! I am curious about the deodorant thing and whether most French people still consider their "natural perfume" to be attractive. : I met a beautiful, wonderful and very fragrant French visitor to the U.S. last year, and although I quickly grew to like her aroma--it was part of her, and plus, it was sexy--other Americans were very rude. : I'd like someone to tell me if the no-deodorant attitude is still the prevalent one in France, and if so, do they think we Americans are silly because of our horror of smelling "bad"?